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Icon199 - The Tooth Query   That's Not What It's Called   Hutt's New   So Many Adults   Ways I Have Attempted to Con My Kids into Putting Their F*cking Shoes On: A Non-Exhaustive List   Eye of the Miser   My Daughter's YouTube Searches: A Non-Exhaustive List   Statue of Limitations   Boy Story   Where Poop Goes   Two Easters   The Legend of Sadra   He Prefers It Alder-off   Heroine Withdrawal   The Queen of Everything   Important Household Tasks I Can Accomplish in the Middle of the Night While Holding a Newborn Who Will Not Go to Sleep and While Also Fully Supporting Said Newborn's Head: A Non-Exhaustive List   The Tap-Dancing Butt Crack   Thrinfamy: A Birth Announcement   I Don't Want To   There's a Doctor in the House   Thesis The End   Conflict of Interest   Good News/Bad News: Tall Order   The Problem With Cookies   Resuscitation   Millions!   The Right to Remain Idle   Naming the Guppy   The Immaculate Perception   Ruh Roh! (The Pee Pee Prophecy)   Cover Your Sass   What Just Happened?   Houston, We Have a Smartass   The Stay-At-Homestretch   The Hungermonger   Bringing Balance to the Meal   Well, That Backfired   The Cross-Dressing Racecar   Temporary State University   What My Kids Do During the 30 Seconds It Takes Me to Leave the Room and Pee: A Non-Exhaustive List   The Potentially Perilous Piglet/Pluto Party Predicament   A Valid Point   'Tis the Season (Or 'Tisn't It?)   Don't Have a Happy Turkey Day (Deluxe Digitally Remastered Edition)   Such Great Heights   Questions for the Dudebro Drinking a Beer in the Campus Restroom Stall: A Non-Exhaustive List   Mean Ladies: A Non-Exhaustive List   Super John vs Joe Judo   Little Diva   Mug of War   Number Two   The Dangers of Abbey Road   The Wife Shoe Wiki   Public Service Announcement   Shooting the Poop   The Snack is Open   Little Genius   Hop Off Pop   House Potty   Daddy's Big Face   Buddy and the Great Glass Water Sprayer   The Old Days   You Make Me Happy   Mammal Confusion   Civil War, Coca-Cola, and the Story of Ember Arts   Not So Silly String   Happy Stars and Arm-Bitches   The Top 10 Most Unglamorous Tips for Potty Training Twins   The Easter Visor   Deep Thoughts on The Little Mermaid: A Non-Exhaustive List   Things I Did This Weekend: A Non-Exhaustive List   I'm The Meta-Map, I'm The Meta-Map, I'm the Meta-Map   Do It   My View of the Super Bowl   This Space Unintentionally Left Blank   Good News/Bad News: Please Excuse My Children for Calling You an Ass   Whine Begets Whine   Crayon on the Cob   Reasons the World Should Not End on Friday: A Non-Exhaustive List   Jingo Bezz   Ugg   Losing My Head   Don't Have a Happy Turkey Day   That Bad, Huh?   The Jungle Gym Oracle   Statistics Reveals That I Hate It   Pre-Pre-School   Lesser Known Things Tiggers Know Best   Bad Places to Congregate with Your Family at Disneyland: A Non-Exhaustive List   Priority Number One   Things Happening Right About Now: An Exhaustive List   The Day the Twins Almost Enjoyed Captain Jack Sparrow   Toddler Parkour   Discarded Research Questions from My Dissertation: A Non-Exhaustive List   Ruff-Ruff Down   Picking Up the Duckie   Raisin Hell   Don't Quarry, Be Happy   Get It Right   A Bedtime Story   Mind-Blowingly Fun Parent-Child Activities: A Non-Exhaustive List   Do You Like Pie?   Unanswered Questions from Children's Songs: A Non-Exhaustive List   I Can't Hear Myself Think   Strange Things Are Afoot   A Hard Father's Day's Night   Reasons Pocahontas Needs to Stop Judging Me   How to Lose a Man Card in 10 Seconds   Things I Would Not Do for a Klondike Bar   Not So Fast   Mission: Possible   The Pirate Pedicure   I Can Fly Twice as High   Mahalo If You Hear Me   I've Become Enlightened   One Year Ago (The Creation Myth)   You Make Road Rage So Much Fun   We Need More Balls   A Little Muh   A Sasquatch Sings the Twinfamy Theme Song   Won't Stop Believin'   Making Easter the Eastest   Fatherhood of the Unraveling Pants   Keep Your Eye on the Beh   Opa!   Let's Get Sh!tfaced, Part Deux Deux   Not Wearing Any Panties   Sustainability All Through The Town   Sharing is Crying   Is Today a Holiday or Something?   Did It   Booger Than You   What Exactly Do You Mean By That?   Overheard in a Suburban Phoenix Neighborhood   Why Crying It Out Does Not Work in Our House: A Haiku   Adventures in Baby-Proofing: Part 2 - Safety Last   Adventures in Baby-Proofing: Part 1 - There Will Be Blood   Twinty Eleven - A Thank You   A Very Twinfamy Christmas   Don't Call Me Mr. Mom   No More Lies   Poop on the Wall   Be Careful What You Wish Fo'   Right On(,) Target   Veered Science   Coyote Fugly: Part 2 - Something Wicked This Way Runs   Coyote Fugly: Part 1- Your Friendly Neighborhood Predator   The Battle of Little Big Bird   The Zen of Being Annoyed   Willy Wonka's Fatal Mistake   Satisfaction (or Lack Thereof)   The Butthead Butterfly Effect   Twinfamy: The Movie...Starring Lego Chuck Norris   Eating the System   Sock Monkey Face-Five   An Open Letter to Elmo   Born to Rock   Did He Just Say What I Think He Said?   Whispering Meat Nothings   If MacGyver Were a Ninja...   The Top Six Reasons This is a List   Doctoring Up   Dirty Diaper Dodgeball   The Bubble Boy's Concession   Time for a Bath   The Quest for Redemption   Dictwinary #4 - Nap Overlap   The Unveiling   A New Reason to Get Off the Phone   Six Sigma Parenting Tip #1 - Snack While Peeing   Dictwinary #3 - Twintrepid   Thunderstruck Thumb-Suck   Who Searched That?   Open Roads and Diaper Loads - Our First Road Trip   We Recycle   Naptime Musings - My 6 Most Common Thoughts   A Tale of Two Sicknesses   We Don't Do That Here - A Trip to the Pediatrician's Office   Well, You Got Me There   I Need Some Space (The Final Frontier) OR Twin Wars: Episode 1 - Taunt of the Tauntaun   What She Said   Pun for the Whole Family   Let's Get Sh!tfaced   Dad Reflex (Happy Fathers' Day!)   Think of the Children!   The Dad Abides   Don't Fear the Teether   Not in Kansas Anymore   Captwin's Log - Stay at Home Father Day 1   Dictwinary #2 - Twincident   I Guess We're Done Then   Big Mother Is Watching   The Silent Filler   Dictwinary #1   Rip Van Twinkle   Inside Twinformation: About the Author   Happy Mothers' Day From Twinfamy   Twincoherent: A Note on Gender   Twintroduction

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