Boy Story

“Guess what, Daddy?” My son said matter-of-factly while putting on his shoes. “There’s another little boy at my school who has the same Spider-Man shoes as me.”

My son is a little on the shy side, so I was excited to hear about him connecting with another kid in his class.

“Cool, Buddy. What’s his name?”

“I don’t know.”

“Oh, well you should ask him. You could say, ‘Hey, look! We have the same shoes on. That’s pretty cool. What’s your name?'”

My son took in this information slowly. He’s a slightly socially awkward overthinker like his daddy (sorry about that, Son), and he appeared to be considering maybe possibly beginning to plan to perhaps think about introducing himself, which made me smile. This is how he warms up to ideas, and then later claims they were his. This is Daddy’s own special form of Inception.

My daughter rounded the corner and joined us, grabbing her own shoes. “His name is Sam.” [This is not their classmate’s actual name, but let’s be silly gooses and play pretend that it is.]

“Oh,” I replied. “I know who he is. I met him and his Mommy the other day when I was dropping you off. He seems like a nice little boy.”

My daughter squinted skeptically. “Well, he kind of hits people.”

“What? Do the teachers stop him?”

“Sometimes,” she shrugged.

I honestly couldn’t imagine this kid doing any real damage. The Twins’ school is fantastic, and it’s unlikely he’d get away with anything actually worth worrying about. It’s more likely that he’s just doing what many little boys do–tending to get excited and full of energy and accidentally being too rough with others. My son is the same way, as are many of our friends’ sons. Still, it was worth getting more information.

“Has he hit either of you?” I probed.


“So does he actually hurt people or does he just get excited?”

“No, Daddy, he doesn’t hurt anybody,” she explained. “He’s just a little boy. He doesn’t know ANYthing.”

I couldn’t help bursting into laughter, and neither could my son, who laughed even harder and longer. As I stopped and he continued to roll around on the floor, he giggled, “That’s so funny.”

My daughter wasn’t amused. She stared at him critically, rolled her eyes, and then gave me this wise-beyond-her-years look that screamed “he has no idea I just made fun of him, too.”

She pointed right at him and said, “See?”

You may also enjoy:

The Tap-Dancing Butt Crack   He Prefers It Alder-off   Heroine Withdrawal

If not, you don’t know ANYthing.


  1. The Road to Joy

    This is so funny and sweet. I love your daughter’s line “He kind of hits people.” Sound like she has her levels of danger all figured out and little Sam’s on a sort of low one. Your twins sound unique and wonderful!


  2. Roo's Ruse

    Fun post! Having survived raising four sons, I can attest, girls have it all over the guys. My niece arrived when my youngest boy was in high school. By the time she started kindergarten, she had them all conditioned. She’s twenty-one now and embodies the Jedi master: “These aren’t the droids you’re looking for…”

    Liked by 1 person

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