As you may have already picked up from my recent silence, I’ve been absolutely buried in both family and academic responsibilities, leaving little time for the highly elaborate stick figure drawings and desperately important fart puns you’ve come to expect from this fine publication. So while I’m digging myself out, I’m elated to present a Very Special Guest Post by a close personal friend of mine: my second grade self.
My mother recently gave me a box of my old drawings and school papers that she amassed over the years, and among them was the following epic superhero tale, which just screams “movie adaptation” (I’m awaiting a call, Joss Whedon).
Without further ado, I give you “Super John vs. Joe Judo.”
Wow! I just… I’m sorry, I just need a minute to catch my breath here. What an emotional rollercoaster ride that was, right? I mean, I wrote it myself and I’m on the edge of my seat every time I read it, especially that epic fight scene. If only my chest were as hard as Super John’s, I could really do some good in this world. And I’m so glad that after such a stressful day he was able to have such a great dream.
Anyway, thanks so much to my second grade self for graciously allowing me share this stroke of genius. Please let him know what you think of his work. If we’re lucky, we may even convince him to unearth even more relics from the archives.
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If not, you’d better hide out in the cave by the river.