Crayon on the Cob

Glancing back at my daughter from the front passenger seat, I notice flecks of green around her mouth.

“Baby, what are you eating?” I say, reaching back to investigate, and snagging one of the crumbs, I realize what it is. “Are you eating a crayon?”

She shoots me a giddy grin, giggles and replies: “Yes,” a word she has recently mastered and forcefully overpronounces with an extra-hard “y” and “s.”

“How does she have a crayon?” My wife asks, peering into the rear view mirror.

“Who knows?”

Like many great toddlers before her, our daughter has made a habit of eating crayons, often turning coloring time into snack time. Why she enjoys this is beyond me. It can’t be the taste. Is it the texture? The color? The size and shape? Or is it just that it drives Mommy and Daddy nuts?

I hold out my hand. “Okay, can you give Daddy the crayon?”

She pulls the crayon from its hiding place between her leg and the side of her car seat and places it in my palm. And as soon as I see it, I can’t stop laughing.

Crayon on the Cob

At least she’s eating her greens.

For some reason, my little girl had decided that instead of the typical carrot-style bite for this particular crayon, she’d opt for more of a corn-on-the-cob approach.

Still in stitches, I look back to my daughter and see a proud, green-toothed smile. She holds out a hand and asks, “More?”


You may also enjoy:

Raisin Hell   We Need More Balls   A Bedtime Story

If not, perhaps you ought to try the Crayola 64 platter.


  1. Mature Canadian

    Love it! Crayons taste like wax ergo, wax lips, wax coke bottles and other wonderful looking, weird tasting stuff from my youth. This post is so appropriate because of all the weird coloured lip stick colours that are out right now. I couldn’t figure out why I didn’t like the colours until I realized they look exactly like the wax lips that tasted so awful that we used to eat as kids! We kept eating them hoping that they would taste better, yet somehow they never did. Thanks for the memories & for letting us in to your life.


    • John Pseudonymous

      Glad to send you down memory lane. I have to say, I never liked any of those wax candies. Wax lips, wax soda bottles, I tried those things once and thought, “This is terrible,” and never ate them again. I’d give them away to friends after Halloween and they’d ask, “Do you want one?” and I’d be like, “No, you knock yourself out. I’m gonna eat my Snickers over here while you chew on wax.”


  2. Deborah the Closet Monster

    I remember eating them (although not whether I did so corn on the cob or, erm, traditional style) myself, but I can’t for the life of me remember the allure. Li’l D’s too busy eating Play-Doh these days to keep up with the crayons. :)


  3. Andi-Roo (@theworld4realz)

    I never ate crayons but I *LOVED* to draw on the wall, the couch, the wall, the furniture, the wall… I’m sensing a theme here… when I learned my letters, I’d write my name on EVERYTHING… then blame my little sister, whose name does NOT match mine, & who did not yet know her letters. Quicker thinker right here…


    • John Pseudonymous

      That’s hysterical! I remember that feeling as a kid–“I’ll throw my siblings under the bus, I’ll lie my ass off, I’ll defy logic and disregard the laws of physics, just don’t make me own up to the thing I obviously did.”


  4. Ms. Jolly Blogger

    I’d like you to know that when I saw that picture, I happened to be drinking from a water bottle and almost choked from laughing because its super funny and super cute. (^_^)

    My sons haven’t sampled crayons yet…tissue once, but that was nowhere near as funny or cute…..

    Happy New Year! :)


    • John Pseudonymous

      Whew! That was a close one! Glad to hear you survived. Maybe I should dial back the humor–I don’t want anyone dying or anything.

      Yeah, my daughter’s the only one into crayon-eating. My son actually likes to draw with them, which is nice. If you can dodge that bullet yourself, it’s nice. We’ve lost a lot of good crayons out here. It’s especially devastating to break the news to their crayon families.


  5. wordswithnannaprawn

    My non-twin children never ate Crayola crayons……..they did however hide them in a pile of washing that went in the tumble dryer on high for an hour. Self-taught batik and tie dye re-fashioning of Mummy and Daddy’s work clothes at a very early age. Lesson learnt – crayon will eventually pass through a teeny tiny intestine at least, but it will never, ever, come out of a few hundred pounds worth of white shirts and blouses……or be as funny as a corn on the cob crayon :)


    • John Pseudonymous

      Oooh…yeah…I’ve had the crayons in the dryer thing happen. That was not a fun day. Luckily for us, it didn’t ruin too many clothes and most of the cleanup involved picking wax out of the lint trap with my fingernails for about 45 minutes. I feel your pain.


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