Reasons the World Should Not End on Friday: A Non-Exhaustive List

1. We still haven’t seen the second Hobbit movie. Peter Jackson has worked way too hard for it to go unseen.

Gollum

It’s going to be amazing in 3-D, Precious! We swears!

2. I would not finish the Ph. D. I’ve been toiling over for years and would have no choice but to throw a hissy fit in the afterlife, surely banning me from all future John Lennon concerts–all because the Mayans couldn’t find anymore paper.

3. It would prevent us from seeing whether Science will fulfill the prophecies of hoverboards, self-drying jackets, and flying cars in 2015, as set forth by Back to the Future 2.

4. It would really be a bummer to not watch the Twins grow up–to never see Little League games and dance recitals, Christmas pageants and graduations, to never walk my daughter down the aisle, to never spoil my grandchildren rotten. Seriously, Mayans, what’s your frickin’ problem?

5. Despite the divisiveness the election caused, the devastation of Hurricane Sandy, and the atrocity in Connecticut, there is still just too much good in the world for us to throw in the towel just yet.

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Don’t stop believin’, society!

As always, please feel free to add your own reasons in the comments below, O Loyal Reader. Perhaps if enough of us speak up, a Mayan descendent will feel compelled to find a blank sheet of paper and pick up where his ancestors left off, thus calling off the whole apocalypse.

I even thought of a decent picket line chant (feel free to use it): “Apocalypse later!”

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You may also enjoy:

Lesser Known Things Tiggers Know Best   Things I Would Not Do for a Klondike Bar   Unanswered Questions from Children's Songs: A Non-Exhaustive List

If not, check out some others, before they’re GONE. FOREVER.

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