Statistics Reveals That I Hate It

I’m fairly confident I will look back on this semester as The Semester That Shall Not Be Named, and my reasons for this are statistically based.

And that is because, against my better judgment, I enrolled in two statistics classes.

At the same freaking time.

Although, yes, it was ultimately my decision to plague myself with such nerdery, I was not left with a whole lot of options. You see, certain classes I need to take are only offered during certain semesters, and because I’m hoping to finish all of my classes in the Spring (before taking the dissertation plunge), I needed to be economical with my schedule.

The Dark Mark - Harry Potter

Accio Jack Daniel’s!

However, once I’d plotted everything out accordingly, my eyes were drawn to this semester, where a Dark Mark had materialized above my yellow legal pad. Sadly, the optimal schedule meant a double dose of stats, meaning that fun would be SO out this Fall.

While–if I say so myself–I can hold my own in the subject, I find it incredibly boring and tedious. The time required to understand it and perform well on tests is way more than I’d like it to be. As you may have gathered, I’m a word guy, so if I have to do school work, I’d much rather spend my time reading interesting research or writing papers for publication, NOT verbally abusing uncooperative math problems.

The anti-awesomeness has recently come to a head, as Lady Luck has farted in my general direction, wafting both of my stats midterms into the same week.

She didn’t even excuse herself.

I formulated a counter-attack, asking my mother to hold down the Twin fort an additional day this week to head to campus and focus all of the day’s effort on verbally abusing math problems. As I set off to fling the Statistics of Power into Mount Doom, my nurturing wife offered the follow words of encouragement:

“I want you to study your ass off today. Next time I see you, I want you ass-less.”

I thought it unwise to take her literally. The last thing I needed was another pain in the butt.

However, as I take aim at my nemesis today and tomorrow, I am very much looking forward to putting this week behind me.


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If not, a recent study reports that you are no fun.


  1. gina valley

    I have an applied math degree and even I hate statistics. It’s evil. Statistics is the devil. Well, that and laundry. Statistics and laundry are the devil. Oh and hair stylists who snip off 4 inches when you said 1 inch (not that I’m bitter).
    Statistics, laundry, and snippy hairstylists: all the devil.
    But, I’m sure you’ll do great and thoroughly conquer that statistics devil!


    • John Pseudonymous

      I’m going to make a very bold statement here. Ready?

      I’d rather do laundry than statistics. Really. Really and truly.

      It’s nice to hear that even someone with an applied math background feels that way. I’ve always had the impression that statistics is like politically correct math. It just takes so much effort to do and explain correctly and you’re never even that confident about what you’re saying because there’s no real definitive answer.


  2. gryffkin

    I had possibly one of the easiest Stats classes ever, and it was infuriatingly boring. I’m also pretty sure I learned a big fat NOTHING, and it was not useful for my thesis at all.

    I would much rather have had a class that totally kicked my butt.


    • John Pseudonymous

      I hear you. Although these classes are kicking my butt, I’m learning a lot. I guess I’ll be able to take that away from it, and be able to use that knowledge. It’s just that getting there has been such a bear.


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