Behold Twinfamy’s Greatest Hits, a collection of literature unprecedented in the history of the written word, hand-selected based upon their popularity with you, O Loyal Readers, as well as the always-correct opinion of The Author.
…in which the Twins coin inspiring catch phrases, record a rock opera, scale human barricades, and turn one year old.
…in which the Twins Ewok their way down the aisle as Ring Bearer and Flower Girl, and Our Hero epically enters His fourth decade.
…in which Our Hero’s Son calls Him “Dada!” for the first time, possibly because of Chuck Norris. – Freshly Pressed 9/7/2011
…in which Our Hero fails to 1) warn His Wife not to accidentally rub her face in her son’s feces, and 2) capture it on video.
PART 1 of The Coyote Fugly Saga, in which Our Hero wages war against Trash Day and crosses paths with a bloodthirsty coyote during His morning stroller jaunt.
PART 2 of The Coyote Fugly Saga, in which Our Hero stops oncoming vehicles, overcomes battery-change procrastination, and loses a singing monkey in an effort to escape a suburban coyote attack.
…in which Our Hero and His Wife escape the clutches of the Castle Grayskull, frolic with animated woodland creatures, and inspire restlessness in island natives.
…in which Our Hero’s family find themselves On Stranger Tides.
…in which Our Hero battles dogs on unicycles, microwave doors, and thinking about starting to begin to maybe do the dishes, all while the Twinfants sleep.
…in which Our Hero corresponds with one of the Great Monsters of Our Time.
…in which Our Hero haggles with a pediatric receptionist.
…in which Our Hero thwarts fevers with the only prescription for it: More Cowbell.
…in which Our Hero rescues a damsel in distress and wonders if His Mother overhears him sexually propositioning said damsel.
…in which Our Hero and His Wife consider adding a pack mule and/or a pack tauntaun (Yes, like from Star Wars) to their traveling entourage.
The first post EVER…in which Our Hero explains how he became a stay-at-home father of twins.