That Bad, Huh?
We need to clean this car. Have you seen the back seat? It looks like somebody’s butthole on a dirty day.
— My Wife
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(Not our actual car, to avoid embarrassment on our part and disgust on yours.)
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If not, can I interest you in cleaning our car?
Twinfamy 
Your wife sounds funny
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A cloud of hilariousness surrounds her everywhere she goes. She’s the real star of this fine publication.
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Have you seen the “I wish my wife were this dirty” variant? My car has never yet made it quite to the write-on-me level of dirtiness on the exterior, but on the inside? What your wife said. I clean and then, BAM! The dirty-making fairies come work their dirty magic and I wonder if it’s worth trying to clean it all up again.
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I think I have seen the “I wish my wife were this dirty.” It sound familiar, anyway. If you have a link for our studio audience to visit for further research, please feel free to leave it here.
For the record, my wife was primarily referring to the interior of our vehicle. The outside isn’t nearly as bad as depicted, but I figured that might be more pleasant to look at than a shot of the debris below the car seats. So many toys, snacks, and random household objects are brought in and out of that back seat that it has become a sort of lost-and-found repository.
Although I tend to have a mentality similar to yours (“I wonder if it’s worth it”), we’ve all been sick a few times since the last cleaning, so it probably should happen soon, regardless of how quickly the mess will be replenished.
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A clean butthole is so much more pleasant.
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True. I think that’s something we can all get behind.
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I have to say that even the dirtiest of buttholes has considerably fewer hotwheels than the back of our car. Having said that, I rarely explore what’s in the cracks of either.
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That’s probably a good approach. You never know what you’ll find, and you can’t un-find whatever you’ve found.
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