Important Household Tasks I Can Accomplish in the Middle of the Night While Holding a Newborn Who Will Not Go to Sleep and While Also Fully Supporting Said Newborn’s Head: A Non-Exhaustive List
1. Opening a Bottle of Beer
2. Pouring a Bottle of Beer into a Darth Vader Pint Glass in such a way as to Minimize Foam
3. Drinking a Beer out of a Darth Vader Pint Glass
4. Taking a Picture of a Beer in a Darth Vader Pint Glass
5. Compiling a Non-Exhaustive List
See?
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Additional Non-Exhaustive Lists exist.
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You may also enjoy:
If not, repeat items 1-3.
Twinfamy 
Excellent, tried that once or twice at the beginning, think my hangovers started getting confused so just stayed all day.. Ouch.
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Yes, it’s important not to overdo it. One or two is my max, or else I’ll collapse.
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love.
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Thanks! :)
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I used to play video games. Poorly. Thankfully the baby we have in the house now sleeps. Mostly.
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That’s not a bad idea, although mine prefers to be held every second, so that could get tricky with controller-holding. Glad to hear you have a sleeper now.
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Now that you’ve mastered this, the next step should be mixing drinks! Because sometimes you need a rye and ginger chaser…
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Yeah, that’s true. I have an entire bar full of drinks to master. I’m sure I’ll have the time to practice. :)
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I remember those days! Hang in there!
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It’s cool. I’ll be fine. I have Lord Vader to keep me company. He’s a lot nicer than you’d expect.
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Hilarious! What a super mum you are;)
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Um…I am NOT a mum. But thanks.
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Dad? Sorry!
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Be sure to start binge watching a new tv show as well….we tackle a new one with each new baby! Thankfully we are now done with kids, but not with Netflix!!!
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Yes, quality television is very important in our house–especially with the addition of closed captions, which allow for a quieter viewing experience when holding an infant as well as the ability to know what is happening onscreen over the screams of two three-year-olds.
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