Important Household Tasks I Can Accomplish in the Middle of the Night While Holding a Newborn Who Will Not Go to Sleep and While Also Fully Supporting Said Newborn’s Head: A Non-Exhaustive List

1. Opening a Bottle of Beer

2. Pouring a Bottle of Beer into a Darth Vader Pint Glass in such a way as to Minimize Foam

3. Drinking a Beer out of a Darth Vader Pint Glass

4. Taking a Picture of a Beer in a Darth Vader Pint Glass

5. Compiling a Non-Exhaustive List

Beer and Binky



Additional Non-Exhaustive Lists exist.


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What My Kids Do During the 30 Seconds It Takes Me to Leave the Room and Pee: A Non-Exhaustive List   Lesser Known Things Tiggers Know Best   Unanswered Questions from Children's Songs: A Non-Exhaustive List

If not, repeat items 1-3.


    • John Pseudonymous

      Yes, quality television is very important in our house–especially with the addition of closed captions, which allow for a quieter viewing experience when holding an infant as well as the ability to know what is happening onscreen over the screams of two three-year-olds.

      Liked by 1 person

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