All Twincidents, Listed Newest to Oldest
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…in which Our Hero returns from an epic saxophone solo.
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…in which Our Hero’s Daughter asserts Herself physiologically.
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…in which Our Hero explains how to score points with women.
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…in which Our Hero makes an important clarification.
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…in which Our Hero says “Ni-night” & celebrates Twinfamy’s 100th Twincident Super Duper Celebration Extravaganza!
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…in which Our Hero provides infinitely captivating parent-child activity suggestions.
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…in which Our Hero cracks a baffling case and secures Himself a free dessert.
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…in which Our Hero addresses questions that have plagued youngsters for generations.
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…in which Our Hero talks His Son down from the bathroom stool ledge, authors the world’s most epic comic book, and fervently chases weasels around the mulberry ottoman.
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…in which Our Hero has no time to waste.
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…in which Our Hero’s Son unearths a buried treasure.
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…in which Our Hero defends Himself against a smug Disney Princess.
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…in which Our Hero and His Wife escape the clutches of the Castle Grayskull, frolic with animated woodland creatures, and inspire restlessness in island natives.
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…in which Our Hero gives ice cream the cold shoulder.
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…in which Our Hero ventures 20,000 Leagues Next to the Sea at an uncharted speed, exhibits His keen powers of deduction, and takes the Twins on their first Poseidon Adventure.
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…in which Our Hero unearths the historic The Dead Draft Scrolls and tasks you, O Loyal Operatives, with a quest for a lost relic.
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…in which Our Hero and His Crew sets sail in search of the Lost Treasure of a Freaking Break from Reality.
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…in which Our Hero and His Amazing Crying Flying Circus provide in-flight twintertainment.
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…in which Our Hero recovers from Restless Restfulness Syndrome.
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…in which Our Hero receives expert parenting advice on toddler aerodynamics.
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…in which Our Hero celebrates one year of Twinfamy and shoots the breeze with the Ghost of Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
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…in which Our Hero’s Wife draws a startling conclusion about our vehicular steed.
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…in which Our Hero searches for His Balls and His Son becomes a Heisman hopeful.
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…in which Our Hero battles kitchen-counter color schemes and His Son’s velociraptor-like tendencies.
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…in which Our Hero attempts to teach an old Sasquatch new tricks, and a very special musical guest sings the all-new Twinfamy Theme Song.
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…in which the Twins Ewok their way down the aisle as Ring Bearer and Flower Girl, and Our Hero epically completes His Third Decade.
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…in which Our Hero battles apocalyptic cyborg bunnies and cleanses himself of Lame Sauce.
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…in which Our Hero discovers He is literally too sexy for His pants.
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…in which Our Hero acquires new powers, teaches His Son a new word, transforms into a paint-spitting ball, and meets the creator of the Allspark.
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…in which Our Hero’s daughter starts an activist group, remote controls take flight, and pumpkins smash back.
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…in which Our Hero braves a diaper-wielding toddler flashmob while almost nearly preventing a family member from getting sh!tfaced (literally).
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…in which someone in the Pseudonymous camp is NOT wearing any panties.
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…in which Our Hero offers a glimpse at His Nobel-Prize-winning academic research, all through the town.
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…in which Our Hero referees twin-to-twin combat.
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…in which Our Hero faces His greatest challenge yet–Valentine’s Day.
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…in which the Twins coin inspiring catch phrases, record a rock opera, scale human barricades, and turn one year old.
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…in which the Black Plague descends upon Our Hero’s abode, destroying all awesomeness in its path.
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…in which Our Hero asks His Wife an important clarification question.
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…in which Our Hero performs an electronic monologue retelling a recent walking excursion.
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…in which Our Hero thoroughly explains why a popular sleep training method does not apply to His situation.
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…in which the Twins infiltrate the impenetrable fortress that is our television stand.
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… in which Our Hero installs child safety locks on cabinets, drawers, and His own foot.
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… in which Our Hero reflects on the year Twinty Eleven and wishes you a very Happy New Year!
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…in which Our Hero celebrates His First Christmas as a parent.
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…in which Our Hero pulverizes stereotypical gender roles and unfunny 80s movie references.
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… in which Our Hero reveals the shocking truth about His identity.
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…in which Our Hero investigates the scene of the grime.
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…in which Our Hero and His Wife contemplate the implications of upcoming developmental milestones.
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…in which Our Hero and His Wife salivate at the sight of a dump truck.
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…in which Our Hero leaks shocking highly classified scientific research He has conducted over the past week.
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…in which Our Hero stops oncoming vehicles, overcomes battery-change procrastination, and loses a singing monkey in an effort to escape a suburban coyote attack.
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…in which Our Hero wages war against Trash Day and crosses paths with a bloodthirsty coyote during His morning stroller jaunt.
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…in which Our Hero loses a semantic debate to an award-winning toddler.
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…in which Our Hero navigates a short utility vehicle through the savage neighborhood wilderness, vanquishing boa constrictors, speeding automobiles, blinding sunlight, and spilled coffee.
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…in which Our Hero’s Wife considers a promising new career in edible factory construction.
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…in which Our Hero bemoans misfortune while tickling plastic toy ivories in order to dance His cares away.
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…in which Our Hero almost nearly avenges a naptime gone awry due to an unfriendly neighborhood ninja-kicking grizzly bear/man hybrid.
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…in which Our Hero and the Twins perform in their very first cinematic feature with none other than Lego Chuck Norris!
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…in which Our Hero rediscovers a million toys at Toys “R” Us that He can play with, and on which His teething daughter can gnaw.
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…in which Our Hero showcases his talents in ventriloquism for His Daughter, fostering a stronger bond between Her Hand and His Face.
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…in which Our Hero corresponds with one of the Great Monsters of Our Time.
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…in which Our Hero’s daughter exhibits breastfeeding showmanship.
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…in which Our Hero’s Son says his first “Dada!”…or DID he?
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…in which Our Hero is tasked by His Wife with a Quest for an incredibly important item akin to the Holy Grail.
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…in which Our Hero vanquishes plastic packaging with an everyday household item–a ninja sword.
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…in which Our Hero and His Family establish a new World Headquarters.
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…in which Our Hero goes Back to School, supplementing Twinfant-wrangling with PhD classes.
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…in which Our Hero endures Diaper Bullets to the face in lieu of an alarm clock.
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…in which Our Hero braves airborne peas, King Kong swipes, and saliva sprinklers, culminating in his favorite Father-Son moment EVER.
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…in which Our Hero’s Dog creatively utilizes baby supplies.
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…in which Our Hero attempts to finally use a Fathers’ Day present amidst teething Twinfants.
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…in which Our Hero obsessively pursues Nap Overlap, or the White Whale.
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…in which Twinfamy makes the Most Important Announcement of All Time.
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…in which Our Hero’s Son cultivates a new skill.
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…in which Our Hero imparts ninja ingestion/excretion secrets he has hoarded in a Disney-Vault-like enclosure.
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…in which Our Hero explains what he does all day now that both Twinfants are proficient rollers.
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…in which the Twins face off against their first thunderstorm… “Sure enough, there my daughter was, exhaling loudly, whipping what little hair she has back and forth.”
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…in which Our Hero survives His First Family Road Trip, written by an Über-Special Guest Author–His Wife!
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…in which Our Hero’s Son flings vomit into His Mother’s Mouth.
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…in which Our Hero battles snot-rockets, microbial terrorists, and Twinfant jealousy.
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…in which Our Hero haggles with a pediatric receptionist.
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…in which Our Hero’s Wife emphasizes the importance of hydration.
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…in which Our Hero fails to warn his Wife not to accidentally rub her face in her son’s feces.
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…in which Our Hero comes to a life-altering realization that he truly is a Dad.
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Twinfamy 