Satisfaction (or Lack Thereof)

Not a whole lot has gone right in the Pseudonymous Household this week. In fact, the most prominent scientists in the field have estimated the past few days to have kicked my hindquarters more forcibly than a ninja grizzly bear/man hybrid shuts a vehicular door.

Baby Einstein Count and Compose Piano

Fair Warning: This post contains a grown man playing a toy piano.

Be not afraid, O Loyal Reader. Nothing serious has transpired–it just seems a devious conglomerate of small, annoying occurrences has established an Axis of Evil bent on thwarting our usually positive outlook. Everyone has bad weeks now and then, and apparently our number has been called at the Deli of Life, serving us an open can of Whoop-Ass (an alleged derivative of Spam) instead of the grocery-store-club-card-discounted honey-roasted turkey we asked for. Don’t you just hate that?

Such a week would usually be excellent fodder for this fine publication, but it’s been so hectic that I don’t even have the time to sufficiently thrill you with a proper Twincident.

However, I do have the time to play you a thematically-relevant song on a baby toy.

Here, in Twinfamy’s first-ever musical performance, is Yours Truly rocking the seminal opening riff of The Rolling Stones’ “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction”…on a Baby Einstein Count and Compose Piano.

Forgive me for not working out the whole song. I only have five notes in my arsenal with this particular instrument.

. . .

Fortunately, the week is almost over. I have no doubt that the smoke will soon clear, and the elusive Satisfaction will be re-gotten. In the meantime, the Twinfants and I will be here in the playroom, dancing our cares away, just like they used to do down at Fraggle Rock.

Join us?


You may also enjoy:

The Butthead Butterfly Effect   Born to Rock   Eating the System

If not, perhaps you should take our dancing-away-of-cares invitation more seriously.


  1. I've Become My Parents

    You know, that big hairy dude always creeped me out.

    Sorry it’s been that kind of week, but you should be quite proud of your musical accomplishment. BTW, I’m pretty sure the original song was written on one of those thingies.

    You know what they say: “When handed a can of Whoop-Ass, make Whoop-Ass-aid.” Or, something like that…


    • John Pseudonymous

      Haha, Whoop-Ass-ade. Just like Momma used to make.

      Yeah, I’m pretty sure Keith Richards composed the riff on a vintage Baby Einstein Piano, circa 1959 or so. Maybe one of the Twins will follow in his footsteps and grow up to be one of Captain Jack Sparrow’s parents, too. Pretty awesome if you think about it. Instead of “becoming his parents,” Keith Richards became Johnny Depp’s. I’m pretty sure that’s a step up.


  2. Deborah the Closet Monster

    The week may have been crud, but (a) it’s almost over and (b) you are awesome. You are so awesome I turned off “Brighter Than the Sun” (please don’t mock! pretty please?) to listen to what sounds like the only/most of the Satisfaction you got this week. And I smiled. Thanks. :)


    • John Pseudonymous

      Thank YOU.

      First of all, I know how off-putting it can be to turn off your music to watch a video someone else has posted. I’ve been there, and thank you for deeming me worth it and taking the extra step to enjoy this Live-From-The-Playroom event.

      But more importantly, thanks for the words of encouragement. I’ve always felt that if I can simultaneously blow off steam and make other people smile, I’ve done what I feel we’ve been put on this earth for–transforming the negative into positive and then sending that positivity back out into the world, arguably best communicated by San Dimas Philosophers Bill and Ted while Adventuring Excellently: “Be excellent to each other.”

      So thanks for being excellent to me.

      San Dimas High School Football rules!


    • John Pseudonymous

      Chopsticks kind of falls apart pretty quickly with only five keys, so it’s not usually part of the setlist. Ironically, the instrument’s five-note limitation doesn’t actually lend itself to composition very well.


  3. w1s3r

    Like Deborah above, I turned off the sweet notes of Journey’s “Separate Ways” to listen to something even more awesome, if that’s even possible: Rolling Stones on a kiddie piano.
    Bravo, bravo! Excellent use of creativity. With each post I see, I get more and more excited to see what new adventures you shall reveal to your hungry audience.
    If only my blog were this exciting. Cheers!


    • Deborah the Closet Monster

      I just wanted to say I love and fully endorse everything about this comment, including incorporation by (implicit) reference of certain portions of the movie “Baseketball.” 0:)


    • John Pseudonymous

      Wow, thanks so much, for two reasons:

      1) Turning off Journey’s “Separate Ways.” I normally frown upon ever turning off Journey, but I’ll definitely make an exception here. You, my friend, have excellent musical taste.

      2) Your “hungry” words of encouragement. I’m thrilled you feel that way. I try to keep it interesting for myself and I’m glad you’re enjoying it along with me.

      Now, quick, turn Journey back on. You gotta finish that song.


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