Things I Would Not Do for a Klondike Bar: A Non-Exhaustive List

1. Elective rhinoplasty
2. The Macarena
3. Planking
4. Keep up with the Kardashians
5. Stop Believin’

Klondike Bar



What would YOU not do for a Klondike Bar? Get yo’ comment on!

The best one will not win a Klondike Bar, courtesy of Twinfamy.


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If not, can I interest you in a Klondike Bar?


    • John Pseudonymous

      Ah, the old Law of Diminishing Klondike Bars. May be the only thing I remember from Novelty Ice Cream Economics 101 back in my undergrad days.

      That first one would be tragic, but a decent way to go if you think about it. I figure if one were to eat enough of them for that to happen, he/she is passionate about Klondike Bars and would leave this earth doing what he/she loved.


  1. Daddy's in Charge

    I would not, could not, in the rain.
    Not in the dark. Not on a train,
    Not in a car, Not in a tree.
    I do not like them, Sam, you see.
    Not in a house. Not in a box.
    Not with a mouse. Not with a fox.
    I will not eat them here or there.
    I do not like them anywhere!

    I do not like those Klondike Bars.


    • John Pseudonymous

      When someone makes a point in rhyme, you KNOW they mean it.

      I can’t say I agree with you, John. I find Klondike Bars to be delicious and my only real complaint about them is their tendency to fall apart before I am done with their deliciousness.

      There are just certain things that I simply would not do for one. A man has to have principles.


  2. Joanna

    Ok, I kinda really like Klondike Bars, especially the Heath Bar ones, but I would not jump off of a bridge for one…. unless all of my friends were doing it.


    • John Pseudonymous

      Right, because who wants to be without friends?

      Of course, there’s also the counterargument asking why you’d want to be friends with people who jump off bridges in the first place, in which case branching out and making new friends is probably a better move.


  3. lovethebadguy

    There is never any reason to keep up with the Kardashians. NEVER.

    But more to the point, I must ask: What is a Klondike bar?? I’ve watched enough American TV to recognise the “What would you do?” slogan, but I’ve never known exactly what it is…


    • John Pseudonymous

      I can’t understand why do many people have kept Keeping Up with the Kardashians. When the show first started, I had no idea who they were, but the name implied that I ought to care about keeping up with them. But when I found out who they were, my first question was, “So why would I ever care about keeping up with them?” I have maintained this position since.

      A Klondike Bar is simply a square of vanilla ice cream dipped in chocolate, eaten with the hands like most food in bar form. That’s it. However, this simplicity has endured for the better part of a century.

      Worth a try if you have the means.


  4. matttbaines

    I would not run a marathon, whilst simultaneouly hula hooping. I am in the same camp as ‘lovethebadguy’ in that I’ve never heard of a Klondike bar, but I am pretty sure that I wouldn’t do this just to get one. Probably. Although ice-cream and chocolate can be a powerful motivator to exercise.


    • John Pseudonymous

      They sure are. The trick is finding the balance between doing enough exercise so that the amount of ice cream consumed does not return the exerciser to his/her original pre-exercise shape. Otherwise running on a literal treadmill can become like running on a figurative treadmill.


  5. whatimeant2say

    Hmm. I do like those Klondike bars. But I try to avoid them for the sake of my slender figure. So, you would probably have to pay me to take a Klondike bar. And I doubt that’s gonna happen.


  6. Deborah the Closet Monster

    Listen to another !@#$@#% Verizon “exact” commercial.

    This comment was in no way influenced by the last blog I read. 0:)


    • John Pseudonymous

      HAHA, I’ll let you in on a little secret–waxing was included in an earlier draft of this list, so I’m with you there, as well as the Packers.

      However, I haven’t had one of those sliders in years. It may be because I was busy with the Twins and forgot to eat breakfast, but that sounds delicious right now…


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