Tagged: Don’t Stop Believin’

Reasons the World Should Not End on Friday: A Non-Exhaustive List

1. We still haven’t seen the second Hobbit movie. Peter Jackson has worked way too hard for it to go unseen.

Gollum

It’s going to be amazing in 3-D, Precious! We swears!

2. I would not finish the Ph. D. I’ve been toiling over for years and would have no choice but to throw a hissy fit in the afterlife, surely banning me from all future John Lennon concerts–all because the Mayans couldn’t find anymore paper.

3. It would prevent us from seeing whether Science will fulfill the prophecies of hoverboards, self-drying jackets, and flying cars in 2015, as set forth by Back to the Future 2.

4. It would really be a bummer to not watch the Twins grow up–to never see Little League games and dance recitals, Christmas pageants and graduations, to never walk my daughter down the aisle, to never spoil my grandchildren rotten. Seriously, Mayans, what’s your frickin’ problem?

5. Despite the divisiveness the election caused, the devastation of Hurricane Sandy, and the atrocity in Connecticut, there is still just too much good in the world for us to throw in the towel just yet.

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Don’t stop believin’, society!

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Klondike Bar

Things I Would Not Do for a Klondike Bar: A Non-Exhaustive List

1. Elective rhinoplasty
2. The Macarena
3. Planking
4. Keep up with the Kardashians
5. Stop Believin’

Klondike Bar

No.

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My 30th Birthday

Won’t Stop Believin’

My 30th Birthday“Dammit,” I thought aloud, grimacing at my phone.

My wife turned her head. “What?”

“I’m 30 on the East Coast. The Facebook ‘Happy Birthdays’ just started.”

She smiled, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder. Having just kissed her own 20s goodbye in November, she’d (understandably) had moments of panic when her day drew near and had been bracing herself all week for a potential flip-out on my part. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.” And I was. I really, really was. But still… “It’s just…It’s really happening, you know?”

“Oh, I do,” she emphasized, nodding wide-eyed. “Believe me.”

My straw sputtered as I downed the last of my drink and clomped the glass back on the table.

“Let’s get the birthday boy another one,” she grinned, rising from her chair. “Or should I say ‘old man‘?”

“Ha. Ha. Make it a double,” I snarked. I watched her as she zig-zagged through the throng of suits and dresses crowding the dance floor towards the bar.

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