Good News/Bad News: Please Excuse My Children for Calling You an Ass

Good News: The Twins have a new favorite game, the classic bubonic-plague-inspired “Ring Around the Rosie,” which they not only enthusiastically sing and play themselves, but also have their legion of Fisher Price Little People perform.

"Ashes, ashes..."

Whenever we’re out running errands, they sing it uncontrollably, as the song is constantly in their heads. They often get stuck in an endless loop of their favorite lyric, “Ashes, ashes.” It is adorable.

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Bad News: Their toddler-esque pronunciation of this line sounds remarkably like a certain body part, resulting in the booming, sing-songy repetition of “Asses, asses,” up and down grocery store aisles, while waiting for our food in restaurants, and, of course, in the middle of church.

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If not, the Twins would like to sing you a song…

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41 responses to “Good News/Bad News: Please Excuse My Children for Calling You an Ass”

  1. Could be worse. My 2 year old keeps singing the first two lines of Jingle Bells. Every day. Loudly.

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    1. Wow. That sounds pretty bad. I wonder if it’ll be Christmas all year at your house.

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  2. It’s better than the very loud proclamation that mommy has “BOOBIES” in church!

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    1. Yeah, especially on Christmas Eve when the church was especially overcrowded. Good times.

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  3. ACTUALLY…. A couple of weeks ago our toddler wanted to nurse during mass. After being denied, he loudly started saying “Nipple!” over and over again.

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    1. You could just tell people it’s Latin. ;)

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  4. From the mouths of babes…my daughter is currently not vocalizing the word “stuck” quite correctly right now…and it’s coming out like “f@”$k”! It took me a while to realise what she was trying to say, talk about embarrassing in public!

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    1. Haha! Yeah I can imagine the looks you’d get from that one.

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  5. LOL! When our middle son was very young and had just learned what that thing was called that was between his legs, and that only boys have it, he said in a loud voice in the middle of a crowded store to my wife: “I have a penis, and you don’t, huh mommy!?”

    Russ

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    1. Nice! My kids are particularly concerned with body parts since they notice that each of them have different equipment, so now, whenever it’s bath time, we make sure to clear up who has what. Good times.

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  6. Just wait. They’ll be doing it on purpose soon enough.

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    1. Yep, my two boys (6 & 9) like to work in a bad word or two whenever they can. “Hey Mom, can I have a gl-ASS of water?” or “We’re going to play on the gr-ASS.” Hard not to laugh!

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      1. Hahaha! My son used to refer to fire trucks as “fuck”. He was too young to know what he was saying but I sure had a good laugh…until people started looking at me like I was the worst parent ever for teaching my son such a bad word…

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      2. We’ve been watching some Disney movies lately so the kids are now saying “witch.” But guess how they pronounce it?

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    2. Yeah, that’ll be even more fun. I’ll have to teach them to only say it to actual asses. I should probably start coming up with criteria so they can go through a checklist.

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  7. Awesome! Ah, to relive my twins lives two years behind where they are now. Thanks for that! :)

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    1. You’re very welcome. On my end, I always feel like when I’m reading your blog I’m getting a glimpse two years into my future. :)

      Loyal Readers, if you’re not already aware of Jared’s blog http://lickthefridge.com, go check it out. He also has boy/girl twins. (And no, they’re not identical.)

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      1. Okay I was looking for the right post….I think this could be interesting, I stumbled on your blog while beginning my own…I too have non identical twin boy and girl age 8 months but I have a kicker a two year old boy.

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  8. Thank goodness. I thought was wondering how those kids were able to tell what a horrible person I am just by looking at me.

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    1. Oh, that was you? We’re sorry about that juice stain on your shirt, too. We didn’t realize the kids learned how to dismantle Sippy Cups until then.

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  9. I could have used those Fischer Price Little People last night. I was trying to figure out how eight people were going to get on and off stage during a number.

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    1. I find them very handy in battle plans–plotting a grocery store route, for example.

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  10. Meh. Ashes. Asses. Sounds adorable either way. :P

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  11. Yeah, my kids take inordinate amounts of pleasure torturing me – especially in public places! Ah, to be two again…

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    1. It’s what they live for, isn’t it?

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    1. Thanks! Are you an identical or fraternal twin?

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      1. Fraternal only 1minute apart!

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  12. Ohh but those are the days, toddler speak is adorable. Teen speak , not so good , thats when they will call someone an A@# and mean it.

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    1. Yeah, I’m trying not to think about that yet… :)

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  13. When my daughter says frog it sounds like she is saying a certain F word and considering her new favorite animal is a frog she says it often. We had a very shocked looking Grandad the other day :).

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    1. Why the frog do so many toddler words sound like cusses? Don’t get me wrong–it’s hilarious, but I really feel like I need to apologize for them often when we’re in public.

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      1. I totally agree and cringe at the thought of her saying frog at nursery haha.

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      2. The good news is that the other kids are probably unintentionally cussing up a storm, too.

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  14. and p.s. My little madam loves her fisher price Batman toys too! we don’t have Joker yet but we do have Robin xD,

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    1. My daughter like to sing the old Batman theme song when she plays with him.

      “Nuh-nuh nuh-nuh nuh-nuh…Bap-man! Bap-man!”

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      1. my daughter does too haha! except her version is just a continuous loop off nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh for about 3 minutes :).

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      2. Nice. I bet that starts out cute but starts going downhill at a certain point. :)

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  15. My girls (also twins :)) are also big fans of this song, though they basically just rushingly hum through the words so they get to fall down (I guess thats the best part? lol).

    I& !!!!!
    is that a Buzz Lightyear ‘Little People’ ?!

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    1. Well, let’s be honest, the falling down part is what EVERYONE’S waiting for anyway. And yes, that is a Buzz Lightyear Little Person. Available wherever Little People are sold. It came with a spaceship, too. Sometimes he brings Disney Princesses for a ride in it. Aurora often falls asleep and Cinderella always panics that it’s going to turn into a pumpkin, but most of the other characters seem to enjoy it.

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