Tagged: Lady Luck

The Dark Mark - Harry Potter

Statistics Reveals That I Hate It

I’m fairly confident I will look back on this semester as The Semester That Shall Not Be Named, and my reasons for this are statistically based.

And that is because, against my better judgment, I enrolled in two statistics classes.

At the same freaking time.

Although, yes, it was ultimately my decision to plague myself with such nerdery, I was not left with a whole lot of options. You see, certain classes I need to take are only offered during certain semesters, and because I’m hoping to finish all of my classes in the Spring (before taking the dissertation plunge), I needed to be economical with my schedule.

The Dark Mark - Harry Potter

Accio Jack Daniel’s!

However, once I’d plotted everything out accordingly, my eyes were drawn to this semester, where a Dark Mark had materialized above my yellow legal pad. Sadly, the optimal schedule meant a double dose of stats, meaning that fun would be SO out this Fall.

While–if I say so myself–I can hold my own in the subject, I find it incredibly boring and tedious. The time required to understand it and perform well on tests is way more than I’d like it to be. As you may have gathered, I’m a word guy, so if I have to do school work, I’d much rather spend my time reading interesting research or writing papers for publication, NOT verbally abusing uncooperative math problems.

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Sunset on Ka'anapali Beach, Maui

How to Lose a Man Card in 10 Seconds

Whalers Village, Maui

I know how it must have looked to the underwhelmed outdoor mall kiosk vendors.

A boisterous early-thirties couple with excellently-defined tan lines bumbling their way through the establishment with heavy footfalls, giggling uncontrollably and carrying the faint scent of island rum.

Oh, fantastic, they observed. More drunk tourists.

I knew this because even in my heightened state of awesomeness, my keen ninja senses saw them willing themselves not to roll their eyes, especially when we slurred the following greeting to an unsuspecting swimwear clerk:

“I’m a mother of twins. I don’t want to look sexy anymore. I want to cover my butt. What do you have for that?”

“She just wants a sarong. Is that so wrong?”

Come on, bikini merchant, crack a smile. Can’t you see that we’re hilarious?

Besides, we don’t get out much, and if you walked a mile in our flip flops, you’d be lit up and hilarious tonight, too.

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