Avast, ye scurvy lubbers! As ye know, me crew set sail a fortnight ago in search of the Lost Treasure of a Freaking Break from Reality, rumored to be buried in the waters of the Hawaiian Isles.

Alas, while on this voyage, me crew and I be staying at a pirate timeshare on the island of Maui, and a loud plight fell upon the crew’s youngest male while his sister be napping, so I, as Captain, had to stifle this mutiny before it spread.

“Aarrrrgh you kidding me?” I growled softly, so as not to rouse the sleeping maiden. “Here be pirate stickers, Lad. Make your Captain a treasure map.”

The boy accepted the stickers with a toothy grin, as if to say, “Aye, Captain.”

“Aarrrrgh,” I muttered, this time victoriously. He be a good lad, methinks.

Returning to me swashbuckling practice (it be important to stay sharp, me hearties), I quickly be interrupted again.

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