I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. After a particularly long morning, the Twins’ 3rd Birthday Party was finally in full swing. Food was served, Piglet and Pluto cupcake towers were constructed, and while kids of all ages darted across the house hopped up on sugar, our adult friends and family tossed back a mimosa or two, occasionally craning their necks to check on their offspring.
Yep, it looked like we just might pull this thing off after all.
It figures that on a day meant to be all about them, my son and daughter decided to make the entire morning all about them with constant, unnecessarily melodramatic whining, thus hindering the actual preparation for their party. The plan had been for me to head to the grocery store for a few last-minute food items while my wife stayed home to get things ready, with help from her sister who had graciously volunteered her mad cupcaking skillz. My wife–an überplanner–had dutifully procured party game supplies to be assembled, festive popcorn boxes to be filled with Orville Redenbacher-y goodness, and goodie bags to be distributed to the under-ten crowd. However, as I witnessed the Twins’ heart-wrenching, Oscar-worthy disapproval of changing from their pajamas to their party clothes just before I left, I had a feeling my wife’s überplans had become an endangered species. Sure enough, the moment I re-entered the house with groceries in tow (30 minutes from Go Time), I was met with a frantic Honey-Do-all-of-this-before-I-Hulk-Smash-somebody’s-face List. Despite my deft popcorn-box filling and spirited backyard dog-poo extraction, our guests began to arrive way before we were able to accomplish Operation: Meet The Wife’s Unrealistic Pinterest-Fueled Expectations.
The rare, sought-after occurrence (especially among stay-at-home parents) of orchestrating all of one’s children to nap simultaneously, awarding the ecstatic parent the opportunity to do whatever he or she desires…at least for a little while. Often punctuated and commemorated with celebratory acts such as Twinfamy’s “Holy Crap, a Nap Overlap” Shuffle.
Due to an unwelcome household visit from the fabled Teething Fairy, the ever-elusive Nap Overlap had now become the stay-at-home father’s White Whale–his obsession–while his tiny first mates alternated between laughing in his exhausted face and wailing along with the Sirens just off the rocky coast.
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If not, watch out for those Sirens on your way out. They sing a killer rendition of “Bohemian Rhapsody.”
Almost gets me every time.
I always escape singing “Mama mia, let me go.”
Term pertaining to or describing twins who are particularly fearless, dauntless, or daring, often to their parents’ dismay.
The stay-at-home father sweated through his third t-shirt of the day while chasing his twintrepid six-month-olds as they rolled repeatedly off the blanket in opposite directions towards head-clunkable objects.
This… is Blogger Idol
A 500-Disc DVD Special Edition Bonus Feature
Blogger Idol is a competition similar to American Idol, but based on the premise that “writers are the new rockstars,” so instead of a singing competition, it’s a blogging competition. I’m not in the competition because I’m already everyone’s idol, but my friend John Willey is.
You may recognize him as one of the authors of Who Searched That?, the funny search terms blog I write for. John is a stay-at-home dad like me, and writes an excellent blog about raising his two boys called Daddy’s in Charge?, often including videos starring Legos.
Anyway, John has been so kind as to feature Twinfamy in his Blogger Idol post this week and I’d love for you to go here, read his post, and vote for him. Voting starts NOW and is only open a few days, so if you feel so compelled, please do it soon.
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If not, please watch your head as you roll away.
singular common noun
An occurrence (or incident) involving twins
The twincident of the forgotten pacifiers echoes as loudly in our memory as the tantrums it produced, broadcasted in hi-fi stereo sound throughout the vehicle.
singular proper noun
A blog entry on Twinfamy, everyone’s favorite epic-stay-at-home-father-of-twins-parenting-humor-specific publication.
Despite a standing brunch engagement with her estranged biological son who had apparently been raised by a kindly family of Sasquatch, Agatha simply had to stay up late in order to read the latest Twincident.
singular proper noun
A compilation of terms involving twins and/or situations brought about while raising them that have been coined (or unknowingly borrowed) and used on Twinfamy, accompanied by their intended meanings, often including puns ranging in cleverness from life-changingly awesome to slightly terrible.
At first I was afraid (I was petrified) but then, after consulting the Dictwinary, I better understood Twinfamy’s terminology, and gained an even higher level of appreciation of its genius.