Twinfamy

the epic blog of a father of twins

Important Household Tasks I Can Accomplish in the Middle of the Night While Holding a Newborn Who Will Not Go to Sleep and While Also Fully Supporting Said Newborn’s Head: A Non-Exhaustive List

January 5, 2015

1. Opening a Bottle of Beer

2. Pouring a Bottle of Beer into a Darth Vader Pint Glass in such a way as to Minimize Foam

3. Drinking a Beer out of a Darth Vader Pint Glass

4. Taking a Picture of a Beer in a Darth Vader Pint Glass

5. Compiling a Non-Exhaustive List

Additional Non-Exhaustive Lists exist.

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Categories: Family, Humor, Non-Exhaustive List, Parenting

Tags: alcohol, beer, Darth Vader, family, father of twins, newborn, pacifier, pint glass, sleep, sleep deprivation, Soothies, Star Wars, Teenie, Twincidents

15 responses to “Important Household Tasks I Can Accomplish in the Middle of the Night While Holding a Newborn Who Will Not Go to Sleep and While Also Fully Supporting Said Newborn’s Head: A Non-Exhaustive List”

pjmcc2014

January 5, 2015 at 7:05 am

Excellent, tried that once or twice at the beginning, think my hangovers started getting confused so just stayed all day.. Ouch.

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1. John Pseudonymous
  
  January 5, 2015 at 11:03 am
  
  Yes, it’s important not to overdo it. One or two is my max, or else I’ll collapse.
  
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ksbeth

January 5, 2015 at 7:27 am

love.

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1. John Pseudonymous
  
  January 5, 2015 at 11:05 am
  
  Thanks! :)
  
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postpostmoderndad

January 5, 2015 at 10:33 am

I used to play video games. Poorly. Thankfully the baby we have in the house now sleeps. Mostly.

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1. John Pseudonymous
  
  January 5, 2015 at 12:11 pm
  
  That’s not a bad idea, although mine prefers to be held every second, so that could get tricky with controller-holding. Glad to hear you have a sleeper now.
  
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mylifeisthebestlife

January 5, 2015 at 12:53 pm

Now that you’ve mastered this, the next step should be mixing drinks! Because sometimes you need a rye and ginger chaser…

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1. John Pseudonymous
  
  January 9, 2015 at 2:21 pm
  
  Yeah, that’s true. I have an entire bar full of drinks to master. I’m sure I’ll have the time to practice. :)
  
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Justin Knight (@WritingPadDad)

January 5, 2015 at 9:24 pm

I remember those days! Hang in there!

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1. John Pseudonymous
  
  January 6, 2015 at 5:24 pm
  
  It’s cool. I’ll be fine. I have Lord Vader to keep me company. He’s a lot nicer than you’d expect.
  
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MysticTeen

January 6, 2015 at 1:11 pm

Hilarious! What a super mum you are;)

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1. John Pseudonymous
  
  January 6, 2015 at 5:27 pm
  
  Um…I am NOT a mum. But thanks.
  
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  1. MysticTeen
    
    January 7, 2015 at 11:58 am
    
    Dad? Sorry!
    
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queenofthelandoftwigsnberries

January 7, 2015 at 9:56 pm

Be sure to start binge watching a new tv show as well….we tackle a new one with each new baby! Thankfully we are now done with kids, but not with Netflix!!!

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1. John Pseudonymous
  
  January 9, 2015 at 2:25 pm
  
  Yes, quality television is very important in our house–especially with the addition of closed captions, which allow for a quieter viewing experience when holding an infant as well as the ability to know what is happening onscreen over the screams of two three-year-olds.
  
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