Twinfamy

Looking up suddenly from her macaroni and cheese, my daughter boomed, “Merry Christmas!”

Across the table, in his own high chair, my son shook his head, grimacing. “No, Sister. It’s not Christmas yet.”

However, my daughter’s holiday spirit would not be shaken. “Merry Christmas, Daddy! Merry Christmas, Brother! Merry Christmas, macaroni and cheese!”

This time he screamed. “NOOO! No, Sister! It’s not Christmas yet! You stop saying dat!”

Having heard this same interchange about five times throughout the course of the day, I decided it was time to moderate—if, for nothing else, my own sanity.

“Okay, kids. Listen,” I began. “It’s not Christmas Day yet, so Buddy, you’re right. It’s not Christmas Day. But right now, it is Christmas Time, because Christmas is coming. So because it’s Christmas Time, we can say ‘Merry Christmas.’ So Sister is right, too.”

My explanation was greeted with dead silence. I could tell two little sets of wheels were turning. The dog, who was waiting for dropped food under the table, began to hum the Jeopardy Theme.

Then, my son stood up in his high chair, raised his arms (a spoonful of mac and cheese in hand), and shouted, “Merry Christmas, everyone!”

Yes! I’d done it. I’d finally negotiated the end of the Battle of Merry Christmas, and no longer would I have to listen to this constant…

“No, Brother!” My daughter replied. “It’s not Christmas yet!”

Sigh. Why do I even bother?

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If not, you stop saying dat.