Buddy and the Great Glass Water Sprayer

“Are you sure you don’t want to come in, Buddy?” my wife called from inside the shower.

I’d love to say the offer was directed at me in a completely different context (Giggity!), but in this case she was addressing my son.

On that particular evening my wife and I had decided that we simply were NOT into the whole bathtime ordeal, so in an effort to mix up the normal nighttime routine (and to get the kid-cleaning over with quickly) we opted for a co-shower approach, with my wife being the Wet Cop and me the Dry Cop.

My daughter, who thoroughly enjoys the shower, had already been sanitized and was now playing with her cherished set of three tiny blue rubber duckies on the shower floor, quacking happily to herself. My son, however, stood a few feet back from the glass shower door, scowling at it while wearing nothing but a diaper.

He shook his head. “No. No like shower. Scared.”

For some reason, my son has a shower phobia. I couldn’t tell you why, because he loves all other aquatic activities–baths, hand-washing, swimming, sprinklers, and especially our new water table, which, within his first ten minutes of use, prompted him to loudly declare the following rave review: “I’M HAVING FUN!!! I’M HAVING FUN!!!”

Water Table

I just don’t get it. He watches us take showers daily and even stands just outside of the door demanding that I draw him pictures on the steamed-up glass. Every day, he sees me step out of the shower in one piece, so clearly it is not a life-threatening activity.

Yet, there he stood–just like he always does–resolutely refusing to enter the Great Glass Death-By-Sprinkling-Water Elevator.

“There’s nothing to afraid of, Buddy,” my wife insisted. “Mommy’s not going to let anything happen to you.”

There was a glimmer of intrigue in his eyes as he took a few steps forward, perhaps to consider giving it a shot.

Then, as if on cue, my daughter turned in her seat at the bottom of the shower and leaned her back against the door, forcing it open and sending it swinging…

…right into my son’s face.

He held his head for a moment. I waited for the tantrum, but it never came. Instead, he looked right at my wife and said:

“THAT happened.”

He pointed at the open door, confirming his stance. “THAT happened, Mommy.”

Having made his point, he strutted smugly (and victoriously) out of the room.

And then Daddy gave him a bath.


You may also enjoy:

Happy Stars and Arm-Bitches   You Make Me Happy   The Day the Twins Almost Enjoyed Captain Jack Sparrow

If not, watch out for swinging shower doors.


  1. James Hudyma

    My boy is also afraid of the shower but loves running through sprinklers. What’s up with that? Anyway, I’ve seen two posts on this blog now with actual pictures of your kids. Are you slowly transitioning into non-anonymity?


    • John Pseudonymous

      I don’t know. I don’t get it. Maybe it’s the enclosed space. With a sprinkler you can run away, but in the shower you can’t?

      Regarding non-anonymity–no, I’m still keeping a low profile. You’ll notice that in pretty much every picture I post, you can’t see their faces, which is actually not all that different from putting hilarious white stick-figure heads over them.

      But yeah, now that you mention it, I suppose I have been using more “actual” photos lately, which I’ve enjoyed more than having to make stick-figure-head special effects or Photoshopping silly pop culture references (which take way more time than I have right now). So I guess you can expect more of the same. :)


  2. post post modern dad (@ppmdad)

    non-anonymity is better. Personal choice of course.

    And yeah, my kids have all hated showers until… well, my 5 year old will take one, but doesn’t like it and prefers bath. 7 and 10 year olds take showers. My 3 year old FREAKS THE FUCK OUT BECAUSE THE WORLD IS ENDING OH MY GOD!!!!! I mean *ahem* he doesn’t like showers.


  3. lovethebadguy

    When I first looked at that photo, I had to do a double-take, ’cause I thought your son was sporting the most awesome sideburns of all time.

    Then I realised it was just the shadow of his ear, and was vaguely disappointed. :?

    (By the way, I just realised you have over 3,000 followers. That is a BUTTLOAD of people. Nicely done!)


  4. lexiesnana

    This was so stinken cute. I wish my grandson was a little afraid of the showering of water. He took the hose off the back of the toilet the other day and the water was spraying all over the bathroom. Oh and he was squirting the liquid soap in the midst of things. Does that count as a bath?


    • John Pseudonymous

      Yeah, I think if he was caught in the crossfire of water and liquid soap, you can definitely count it as a bath. I know I would, especially because the next step would be cleaning up the stupid bathroom.


  5. gothgurl94

    My own sister was afraid of taking showers which I thought it was funny considering she would get mad if one of us took a shower without her. Now she enjoys both the shower and the bath. She also takes a shower bath too lol


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