Reasons the World Should Not End on Friday: A Non-Exhaustive List

1. We still haven’t seen the second and third Hobbit movies. Peter Jackson has worked way too hard for them to go unseen.

Gollum
It’s going to be amazing in 3-D, Precious! We swears!

2. I would not finish the Ph. D. I’ve been toiling over for years and would have no choice but to throw a hissy fit in the afterlife, surely banning me from all future John Lennon concerts–all because the Mayans couldn’t find anymore paper.

3. It would prevent us from seeing whether Science will fulfill the prophecies of hoverboards, self-drying jackets, and flying cars in 2015, as set forth by Back to the Future 2.

4. It would really be a bummer to not watch the Twins grow up–to never see Little League games and dance recitals, Christmas pageants and graduations, to never walk my daughter down the aisle, to never spoil my grandchildren rotten. Seriously, Mayans, what’s your frickin’ problem?

5. Despite the divisiveness the election caused, the devastation of Hurricane Sandy, and the atrocity in Connecticut, there is still just too much good in the world for us to throw in the towel just yet.

.

Don’t stop believin’, society!

As always, please feel free to add your own reasons in the comments below, O Loyal Reader. Perhaps if enough of us speak up, a Mayan descendent will feel compelled to find a blank sheet of paper and pick up where his ancestors left off, thus calling off the whole apocalypse.

I even thought of a decent picket line chant (feel free to use it): “Apocalypse later!”

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22 responses to “Reasons the World Should Not End on Friday: A Non-Exhaustive List”

  1. The Doctor Who Christmas episode has yet to air.

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  2. That’s great!

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  3. “Apocalypse later!”= Brilliant

    Plus, we won’t get to experience the many days and nights of pee pee on the floor (the gifts of potty training twins)…

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    1. Exactly! There’s no way I want to miss that.

      …Wait a minute…

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  4. The world shouldn’t end on a Friday because that’s right before another great weekend.

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    1. Right? At least end on a Sunday night so we don’t have to deal with Monday.

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  5. My twinsies’ birthday is the 22nd. That’s reason enough. :)

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    1. Well, an early Happy Birthday to them! And that’s a GREAT reason. I’d hate to miss my kids’ 2nd birthday, coming up in January.

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  6. Our twins turn two on the 24th, I’m not going into the afterlife with hives thanks to penicillin, and I want my Christmas dinner to included ham and yams, and I want to be the Goth Granny someday!

    APOCALYPSE NEVER!

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    1. That’s even better! APOCALYPSE NEVER!

      What would a Goth Granny look like? A reading glasses chain made out of barbed wire? Jet black Keds? What’s your game plan? :)

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    1. Simple, yet valid. Me neither.

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  7. It’s my daughter’s birthday on the 22nd as well! We have much merriment to make.

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    1. Happy Birthday to her! :)

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    2. Happy Birthday to her! Here’s hoping we make it, so merriment can be made. :)

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  8. I’m really looking forward to my partridge in a pear tree.

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    1. James, I hope you not only get one, but a partridge family. Then they can start a band…

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  9. I haven’t believed in any of this stuff ever since Howard Camping turned out to be wrong.

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  10. Santa is bringing some REALLY COOL STUFFS this year, & I’d like to get a chance to use some of the more hot-ticket items. I’ma feel really cheated if we go out before I get to enjoy a drink from my new Keurig.

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  11. There is no way this world will end before I finish this Hobbit Trilogy!!

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