Twinfamy

the epic blog of a father of twins

Why Crying It Out Does Not Work in Our House: A Haiku

January 12, 2012

If one cries it out,
the other wakes and joins in.
And the plot thickens.

. . .

I’m thrilled this method has worked for your only child, but when I say I’ve been up half the night, I’ll thank you to remember these simple, catchy 17 syllables instead of being one of the dozens asking if I’ve tried it.

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Categories: Family, Humor, Hyperreality, Parenting, SAHD, Stay At Home Dad, Twins

Tags: Baby Wise, CIO, cry it out, Cry It Out Method, crying, dozens, Dr. Richard Ferber, FAIL, family, father of twins, Ferber Method, haiku, Maxell, Maxell Blown Away Guy, new parent, only child, poem, SAHD, sleep, sleep deprivation, sleep training, stay at home dad, staying up late, syllables, Twincidents, twins

23 responses to “Why Crying It Out Does Not Work in Our House: A Haiku”

Chunky Mama

January 12, 2012 at 10:47 am

I’d love to give you some useful twinny sleep advice here, but my 2yos still wake up several times a night.
I can’t even remember what sleep feels like.

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1. John Pseudonymous
  
  January 12, 2012 at 12:38 pm
  
  Yeah, that’s what I figured. Many people have told us we’re done with uninterrupted sleep for quite some time, which is just the most encouraging thing in the history of all encouraging things. It’s not that bad when it’s one and my wife and I can take turns, but last night it was both of them.
  
  I think I’m developing a resistance to caffeine.
  
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Barmy Rootstock

January 12, 2012 at 12:17 pm

I hate thick plots. Sorry you have one. Hope it gets thinner soon.

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1. John Pseudonymous
  
  January 12, 2012 at 12:43 pm
  
  Thanks, man. I think one of the main reasons being a new parent is so difficult is because you’re having to do more than you’ve ever done, on no sleep.
  
  Someday I’ll sleep eight hours a night again. I’m going to be so much more pleasant to be around.
  
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realarmyofmoms

January 12, 2012 at 12:44 pm

There is always benedryl…mommys little helper when everyone REALLY needs some sleep. LOL

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1. John Pseudonymous
  
  January 12, 2012 at 12:54 pm
  
  Yeah, we’ve tried that before, but one of them–I forget who and can’t imagine why my memory is failing me (yes, I can)–actually had an opposite reaction to it. Instead of knocking the kid out, it was like a shot of adrenaline. That actually happens to me with some kinds of meds, too–it should make me tired but instead I’m ready for a prizefight.
  
  I guess it’s worth another try so I know who gets hopped up and who goes ni-night.
  
  I should write it down this time.
  
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  1. whatimeant2say
    
    January 12, 2012 at 7:36 pm
    
    I have that same med problem. Nyquil seems to be some kind of upper for me for some reason.
    
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  2. John Pseudonymous
    
    January 12, 2012 at 8:13 pm
    
    NyQuil’s like that for me, too. I’m all hyped up for like three hours before I finally tank and sleep soundly.
    
    But sometimes it’s worth the sound sleep at the end of it all if I’m sick enough.
    
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jetts31

January 12, 2012 at 3:35 pm

I love this. Totally true too.
I may also steal the idea (the haiku part) for my blog. I’ll make sure to give you full credit.

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1. John Pseudonymous
  
  January 12, 2012 at 3:40 pm
  
  All right! Looking forward to Jimmy-penned haikus.
  
  Maybe we’ll ignite a hip new haiku movement that will take the blogosphere by storm.
  
  Ever seen a storm inside a sphere?
  
  Me neither.
  
  But I’d like to.
  
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Sarah Richardson

January 12, 2012 at 3:40 pm

After reading every sleep book in the world for my first born (who held the title for world’s worst sleeper, until his little bro was born)…here is what I learned.

They will sleep through the night when they are ready. And sometimes it happens overnight. One night they wake up 3 times, the next night they sleep 8 hours…it is a racket to think that we can do anything about it.

Do whatever is necessary to maximize parental sleep and just survive. And you are right- even when they “sleep through the night” there will always be something to disrupt it…nightmares, peeing in the bed, cat jumping in the crib (or maybe that’s just us)…

You can do a few things: 1. Wait until they are in their sleep prime, (about 16 years old, I am told) and pay them back by waking them up at 6am and making them do stuff for your personal enjoyment. 2. Just wait until they move out and sleep then. 3. Give them to the grandparents sometime overnight and enjoy a passionate, steamy, kinky night of you and your wife sleeping…(I have yet to try this- but I have heard it is amazing)

Enjoy fellow night waker. I am with you in spirit and in reality- up at least 3 times per night…

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lovethebadguy

January 12, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Oooh, a haiku! Way to class it up. ;)

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1. John Pseudonymous
  
  January 12, 2012 at 8:22 pm
  
  Yes, O Loyal Reader Emeritus, I’m offering classic literature here on this fine publication.
  
  But with poop and fart jokes.
  
  (Something for everyone.)
  
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  1. w1s3r
    
    February 10, 2012 at 7:58 pm
    
    Everybody knows that poop and fart jokes make it so much more enjoyable. Or is that just because I grew up with three younger brothers?
    
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  2. John Pseudonymous
    
    February 13, 2012 at 1:01 pm
    
    Either way, you’ve come to the right place.
    
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whatimeant2say

January 12, 2012 at 7:38 pm

My in-laws used to advise me that whiskey was the best cure for sleepless nights. And they weren’t telling ME to drink it…
Don’t worry – I did not follow their advice!

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1. John Pseudonymous
  
  January 12, 2012 at 8:20 pm
  
  I’ve heard the whiskey remedy quite a bit–both for parents and kids. I suspect it to primarily be an excuse to have whiskey in the house and/or drink it.
  
  I will not offer the Twins any, but if it helps me fall into deeper, more fulfilling power naps between nighttime episodes, I won’t rule it out.
  
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Daddy Knows Less

January 14, 2012 at 7:46 am

I agree re: a haiku. Nice.

But don’t get mad at us only child people for suggesting crying it out. You’re the one who felt the need to show off by having twins.

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1. John Pseudonymous
  
  January 14, 2012 at 7:56 am
  
  I guess that’s what I get for my reproductive showboating.
  
  John Lennon warned me that Instant Karma was going to get me.
  
  Maybe I should have shined on harder.
  
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Brenda

January 15, 2012 at 8:28 pm

I love your poetic nature and I’ll ask if I can quote you. I host a free webinar “Oh Baby, please let me SLEEP!” and I’d love it if you could come to the next one asking all of your questions and venting all of your frustrations. You haven’t lost too much sleep because you still display a wonderful sense of humor:D

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1. John Pseudonymous
  
  January 15, 2012 at 9:11 pm
  
  Thanks!
  
  You only have my permission to quote me if–when quoting–you include both my name (John Pseudonymous) and website (Twinfamy.com), and, if you plan on providing a visual representation of the quotation, you must use a screenshot from this website and not put it in an ugly PowerPoint presentation, especially if it has any animated clip art that has nothing to do with the content of the slide. You must also tell everyone in attendance how excellent this website is, and that they simply must visit. If you do not comply to all of the above, ninjas will remove extremities as described in this fine publication’s Twinja Advisory.
  
  If you would like me to attend and/or make a guest appearance in this webinar of which you speak, please provide the details and we’ll talk.
  
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Alexis

January 27, 2012 at 7:57 am

We should talk – I think I can help make the plot less thick ;)
http://www.troublesometots.com
ps. Love the haiku though!

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1. John Pseudonymous
  
  January 27, 2012 at 8:53 am
  
  Thanks!
  
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