Posted by John Pseudonymous
If you can picture an almost-thirtysomething, unkempt, elongated-stubble-sporting man…
• one-handedly maneuvering a double-jogging stroller (carrying boy-and-girl twins wearing boy-and-girl versions of the same hoodie) around garbage cans and parked cars;
• keeping a leash (attached to an ecstatic, wayward canine for whom the current situation is like a trip to Disneyland) wrapped around the wrist of that same stroller-driving first hand;
• attempting to navigate email, Facebook, and Twitter on a cell phone with the second hand;
• bending over every few steps to to sip coffee through a straw because the stroller cup-holder’s well-meaning death-grip prohibits one-handed removal; and
• periodically wiping said coffee leaking from a “spill-proof” travel mug off the stroller handle;
…you have a pretty accurate picture of what my morning walk is like.
Sounds annoying, right? Well, guess what? I love it.
That’s just how I stroll.
Read the rest of this entry →
Posted in Family, Humor, Hyperreality, Parenting, SAHD, Stay At Home Dad, Twins
Tags: 8 months old, amusement park ride, Arizona, Baby Einstein, Baby Einstein Count and Compose Piano, Batman, boa constrictor, bottle, brute strength, car, cell phone, coffee, coyote, cup holder, curb, cussing, death grip, Disneyland, doctor, doctor-recommended, dog, double jogging stroller, Dynamic Duo, electrician, email, Facebook, family, father of twins, first teeth, first tooth, fustercluck, gnaw, here and now, hoodie, household dependents, How I Stroll, How We Became Posthuman, hygiene, ingenuity, inside/outside (USA), jaunt, jaywalk, Kaa, leash, love, mash-up, morning, morning walk, Mowgli, N. Katherine Hayles, naptime, new parent, Occupy the Playroom, Occupy Wall Street, one-man show, peace, Ph. D., plastic links, postmodern cybernetics, protest song, ramp, Robin, rock star, rock the boat, root canal, Rudyard Kipling, SAHD, Sesame Street, short utility vehicle, snake, Sonoran Desert, spill-proof spillage, sport utility vehicle, stay at home dad, stay-at-home dad/Ph. D. student hybrid, stealth, straw, street sign, stroll, stroller, stubble, summer heat, sunscreen, teeth, teething, tether, text message, The Jungle Book, The State of the John, thirtysomething, toy, trophy husband, Twincidents, Twinfants, twins, Twitter, two front teeth, untangle, vampire, walk, zen
Have every new Twinfamy post delivered directly to your email--you don't even need an epidural! Enter your email address below.
Join 3,171 other followers
Twinfamy is written before a live studio audience...of two.
The Twins are currently
All writing and some images (where explicitly noted) © 2011-2013 Twinfamy. All rights, and even lefts, reserved. I should also probably tell you that the twins are already in ninjutsu training, and so any violation of this copyright may or may not result in decapitation.
You've been warned.
Blog at WordPress.com.
Theme: Mystique by digitalnature.
Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.