The Pseudonymous Family is moving to a new house this week. Although our current residence has served us well, it leaves little space for my wife and me to chase our little Ewoks around and has an air conditioner that was installed around the time Return of the Jedi was released. This does not bode well in the 115-degree Arizona summer, as it runs constantly and sh!tily and still does not sufficiently cool the house.
Accordingly, we’re very much looking forward to our new place’s additional square footage, reduced electricity bill, and gargantuan master bedroom closet organizer (a feature my wife literally dances about at its mere mention).
As we’ve been packing up the house, the Twins have been in rare form, no doubt thrown off by the disturbance in The Force due to their constantly-changing surroundings. While my daughter has fully integrated the word “No” into her vocabulary (Yeah. I’m in trouble.), my son has begun to test physical boundaries, exploring the limits of both furniture he’s allowed on and his own body. In fact, once we’d emptied the bookshelf in his bedroom the other day, we discovered a new talent of his, as illustrated by the following footage:
Now that summer is in full swing, I know many parents are looking for ecstatically fun activities to keep the kids entertained. Well, be not afraid, O Loyal Reader, for I’ve got yo’ back. Despite my incredibly busy schedule, I went to the trouble of compiling a list of enjoyable pastimes sure to keep you and your children free of boredom during these long summer months.
Granted, I’m no expert, but speaking from my own experience, the Twins and I have together agreed on several occasions that we like to do the following:
1. Eat, eat, eat apples and bananas.
2. Ate, ate, ate aypples and banaynays.
3. Eat eat, eat eeples and baneenees.
4. Ite, ite, ite ipples and baninis.
5. Oat, oat, oat ohpples and banonos.
6. Ute, ute, ute upples and banunus.
And if you’re feeling adventurous, an additional option that we sometimes enjoy is to:
7. Yte, yte, yte, ypples and banynys.