Posted by John Pseudonymous
“We need more balls!” my wife cried urgently.
Giggling, I replied “That’s what she sai–”
“Don’t. Just get another one.”
We were in the midst of a Clash of the Ti-twins over a ball, only one of which was out in the living room with them. When an item changes hands between my loinfruits every five seconds punctuated by banshee screams and floor flails, it can get ugly pretty quickly, hence my wife’s desperation. She kept them separated like a boxing referee listening to The Offspring while I hopped the baby gate and scoured the playroom for more balls, trying to suppress the flood of terribly unfunny ball-related innuendos I wanted to crack.
Does ball size matter?
Where would you like me to put the balls?
Will the deflated balls still work?
See? Just terrible. Anyway…
Tags: "Come Out and Play (Keep 'Em Separated)", ball, balls, banshee, boxing, Clash of the Ti-twins, Clash of the Titans, crying, daughter, Elmo, FAIL, family, father of twins, fatherly pride, football, Heisman Trophy, innuendo, loinfruit, new parent, Pop Warner football, possessed V-Tech toys, SAHD, sibling rivalry, son, Sports Authority, SportsCenter Theme ("Na-na-na na-na-na"), stay at home dad, Terry Tate Office Linebacker, That's what she said, The Offspring, Twincidents, twins, wife