Posted by John Pseudonymous
It still feels strange to say this, but the Twins have started school.
While I have no doubt in my mind that my little geniuses could already slaughter Doogie Howser at Jeopardy (it would be legen–wait for it–dary), this first foray into the academic world is not related to their obviously high cognitive abilities, but instead an opportunity to begin their formal education early. You see, while they were still chillaxing in their mother’s uterine jacuzzi, we got them on the lengthy waiting list for a fairly exclusive toddler class conveniently held on my college’s campus, and we’d watched them slowly climb their way to the top ever since.
Thus, as the new school year approached, the all-important question as to whether they would be granted access to the program hung in the air like the faint, gaseous remnants of a diaper blowout. Our hopes high, we gathered with the other families in our District who had children on the waiting list for a public announcement of the class’s new students. As the odd, eccentric university spokeswoman took the stage, the tension was so thick that it needed to cut carbohydrates from its diet.
But as luck would have it, our progeny were both selected, punctuated by thumbs-up-shaped balloons falling from the rafters and commemorative t-shirts emblazoned with bow-wearing stick figures being shot into the masses. The Twins had been chosen!
Tags: "They grow up so fast.", Barney Stinson, chillax, crying, cutting carbs, dissertation, Doogie Howser, Early Childhood, education, family, fantastically-executed plush animal voices, father of twins, Han Solo, How I Met Your Mother, Hunger Games, iPhone, Jeff Goldblum, Jeopardy, Neil Patrick Harris, new parent, Ph. D., Pre-Pre-School, pre-school, pregnancy, SAHD, school, sharing, Star Wars, stay at home dad, The Fly, The Reaping, toddler-parent class, Twincidents, twins, uterine jacuzzi, wife
Posted by John Pseudonymous
My daughter hooked her arm securely around mine as I held her at my hip–a cripplingly cute mannerism of hers that melts me to my core every single time.
Vocalizing airplane sound effects, I made an extravagant production of swooping my giggling passenger down to the floor to pick up each member of the Hundred Acre Wood institutionalized as her Bedtime Crew, currently featuring Piglet (her go-to daytime stuffty) as well as Winnie the Pooh and Tigger (the night-shift support staff who allow for optimal snugglization).
Her teeth brushed and hands washed, she knew we were coming up on bedtime and began her nightly wind-down ritual: gripping Piglet and Company, sticking her beloved right thumb in her mouth, and embracing day’s end with open arms and heavy eyelids.
Our son, however–currently in his mother’s arms–was performing his own nightly routine: maniacal arm-flails punctuated by Oscar-worthy whines. Never ready to pack it in, he’ll dash for the playroom or point at the turned-off tv in a last-ditch effort to stay up just a little longer, to milk as much out of the day as possible. There are still so many blocks to stack, so many books to read, so many Sing-Along Songs to groove to.
And while his unrelenting desire to be awake can be burdensome, I don’t ever fault him for it.
He gets it from me.
Tags: "Leave everything on the field", "muh", "Ni-night", "They grow up so fast.", 100th post, 500-Disc DVD Special Edition Bonus Feature, a chip off the old block, A. A. Milne, academia, annotated bibliography, bedtime, beer, book, crotch shot, crying, date night, daughter, diaper, dishwashing, Disney, Disney Sing-Along Songs, family, father of twins, How I Met Your Mother, Hundred Acre Wood, laundry, legen--wait for it--dary, legendary, Lego, life, Magna Doodle, milestone, mind-blowing cuteness, new parent, Oscar (Academy Award), Ph. D., Piglet, pixie voice, playroom, Pooh Corner, poop, Pop Warner football, SAHD, sing-along, Sippy Cup, Skype, son, stay at home dad, stay-at-home dad/Ph. D. student hybrid, stuffed animals, tantrum, Tell Me Stuff To Point At In My Favorite Word Book, thirst for life, thumb sucking, Tigger, Twincidents, Twinfamy, twins, wife, Winnie the Pooh