Posted by John Pseudonymous
If you can picture an almost-thirtysomething, unkempt, elongated-stubble-sporting man…
• one-handedly maneuvering a double-jogging stroller (carrying boy-and-girl twins wearing boy-and-girl versions of the same hoodie) around garbage cans and parked cars;
• keeping a leash (attached to an ecstatic, wayward canine for whom the current situation is like a trip to Disneyland) wrapped around the wrist of that same stroller-driving first hand;
• attempting to navigate email, Facebook, and Twitter on a cell phone with the second hand;
• bending over every few steps to to sip coffee through a straw because the stroller cup-holder’s well-meaning death-grip prohibits one-handed removal; and
• periodically wiping said coffee leaking from a “spill-proof” travel mug off the stroller handle;
…you have a pretty accurate picture of what my morning walk is like.
Sounds annoying, right? Well, guess what? I love it.
That’s just how I stroll.
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Posted in Twins, Parenting, Humor, Hyperreality, Stay At Home Dad, SAHD, Family
Tags: trophy husband, new parent, stay at home dad, father of twins, Ph. D., dog, twins, SAHD, bottle, Twincidents, naptime, teething, doctor, Batman, teeth, car, summer heat, Twinfants, coffee, Arizona, family, Disneyland, gnaw, stroller, sport utility vehicle, household dependents, Sesame Street, toy, first tooth, first teeth, vampire, fustercluck, love, Facebook, Dynamic Duo, Robin, 8 months old, stay-at-home dad/Ph. D. student hybrid, Baby Einstein Count and Compose Piano, Baby Einstein, thirtysomething, stubble, hygiene, double jogging stroller, hoodie, walk, leash, email, Twitter, text message, cell phone, straw, cup holder, death grip, spill-proof spillage, morning, morning walk, How I Stroll, boa constrictor, snake, untangle, amusement park ride, tether, plastic links, ingenuity, brute strength, jaywalk, stealth, The Jungle Book, Rudyard Kipling, Mowgli, Kaa, rock the boat, short utility vehicle, ramp, curb, street sign, mash-up, zen, inside/outside (USA), cussing, stroll, doctor-recommended, Sonoran Desert, sunscreen, peace, one-man show, The State of the John, Occupy Wall Street, Occupy the Playroom, protest song, rock star, two front teeth, root canal, electrician, How We Became Posthuman, N. Katherine Hayles, postmodern cybernetics, jaunt, here and now, coyote
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