Posted by John Pseudonymous
I grimaced as the all-too-familiar sound of my daughter’s signature baby cuss-fests reverberated throughout the cabin of our 757. Her inflection was remarkably similar to a Ricky Ricardo Spanish flipout as she rattled off unintelligible rapid-fire syllables.
Typically, these soliloquies have me in stitches. The invariable final “BAH” and its emphatic arm thrust just kills me every time.
But here and now, all I could muster was a nervous smile at my wife across the aisle, who flashed a quick one back while wrestling our tiny squirming diva in her lap.
Since two lap kids aren’t allowed in the same three-seat half-row, my wife had elected to fly solo while my son and I sat on the other side with my parents. The plan was to take turns and rotate seats as necessary throughout the flight, but for now, with the “fasten seat belts” sign lit and the crew preparing for take-off, we were locked into this configuration. We had booked the flight to coincide with their naptime in hopes they would crash for a significant portion of it, but the TSA security shuffle and unfamiliar surroundings now had them simultaneously wired and tired. And grumpy as hell.
Tags: new parent, stay at home dad, father of twins, wife, twins, SAHD, Twincidents, tantrum, stereo, daughter, son, crying, family, Disney, yin yang, travel, vacation, onomatopoeia, toy, Harry Potter, baby cussing, stereophonic meltdown, tempting fate, Donald Duck, Disney Princess, Mickey Mouse, sticker, airport, airplane, Maui, Hawaii, TwinfaMaui, Mockingjay, air travel, Ricky Ricardo, Desi Arnaz, I Love Lucy, Chumbawumba, TSA, bitch-slap, peer pressure, The DaVinci Code, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest, Hunger Games, Bob Marley, Piglet, Reading Rainbow