I Need Some Space (The Final Frontier) OR Twin Wars: Episode 1 – Taunt of the Tauntaun
Wife: We need a bigger diaper bag.
Me: Or possibly a pack mule.
Rainy Day Activity!
What is this pack mule carrying? If you can name all of the products in a comment for this post, you will automatically be entered in a chance to win at life, compliments of Twinfamy.com!
Relax, O Loyal Animal Activist Reader–this is not an actual photograph. It was Photoshopped without Photoshop using Microsoft PowerPoint. Furthermore, neither I nor Twinfamy.com advocate the actual use of a pack mule for infant supply transport, primarily because parents already deal with their fair share of feces (sometimes even as an oblivious beautifying facial mask) and the addition of such an animal to one’s entourage would undoubtedly provide even more of an opportunity for sh!t to happen.
We also understand your particular offense to the placement of the Baby Bjorn on the fictional, hypothetical mule’s snout. However, it is not Twinfamy’s fault that the Baby Bjorn is coincidentally bridle-shaped and thus looks especially hilarious in this electronic, not-at-all-intended-for-real-life anatomical location.
The Royal We finally agree that despite the stereotypical “stubbornness” perpetuated by Fox News, the mule is a majestic creature who has just as much of a right to wear hemp and make others feel guilty for thinking steak is delicious as anyone. In fact, in the event that a mule actually is stubborn, it is probably for a viable reason, such as the lack of career options aside from doing oppressive humans’ heavy lifting, or the simple fact that their boys cannot swim due to the chromosonal ramifications of having horse fathers and donkey mothers, not to mention the pressures of having multiracial parents in general.
If you’re still upset, fear not. I have prepared an alternate version. Please forget the above ever happened, and see below.
A 500-Disc DVD Special Edition Bonus Feature
Ready? Here we go! Making the jump to LIGHT SPEED…
Twin Wars: Episode 1 – The Taunt of the Tauntaun
Wife: We need a bigger diaper bag.
Me: Or possibly a pack tauntaun.
Jedi Training Exercise
What is this pack tauntaun carrying? If you can name all of the products in a comment for this post, you will automatically be entered in a chance to win one Jedi training lesson with Yoda, the Jedi Master himself, compliments of Twinfamy.com! Offer does not include travel, and is only valid if you can locate Master Yoda on Dagobah yourself.
You may also like:
If not, please don’t turn to the Dark Side. Balance has finally been brought to The Force, and you’d just selfishly ruin it for everyone.
Posted on June 26, 2011, in Family, Humor, Hyperreality, Parenting, Quotes, SAHD, Stay At Home Dad, Twins and tagged 5 Hour Energy, 500-Disc DVD Special Edition Bonus Feature, A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, alcohol, Alternate Ending, animal activism, apology, Baby Bjorn, Balmex, beer, bib, blizzard, bottles, diaper bag, disclaimer, donkey, family, father of twins, fine print, Fine-Ass Print, Fox News, George Lucas, horse, Hoth, Huggies, light speed, Luke Skywalker, making the jump to light speed, Mark Hamill, Medela bottles, mule, mule reproduction, new parent, O Loyal Animal Activist Leader, O Loyal Reader, onesie, outer space, pacifier, pack mule, pack tauntaun, parody, poop, power converters, SAHD, Samuel Adams, Samuel Adams Summer Ale, space, Star Trek, Star Wars, Star Wars parody, Star Wars text crawl, stay at home dad, stubborn as a mule, tauntaun, The Empire Strikes Back, The Final Frontier, Twin Wars, Twin Wars Episode 1 - Taunt of the Tauntaun, Twincidents, Twinfographic, twins, wife. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.